Effective Speaking for Men in Relationships
I do not believe that communication is the key to maintaining a healthy long term relationships with a woman. This is because woman do not attempt to convey actual information when having a conversation. Instead, their motive is seeking sympathy or asking for assistance. Basically, most women do not talk TO men, they talk AT men.
If a woman is speaking in a calm manner, and detailing some minor issue, they are not looking for you to “solve” their problem. They do not want logic based advice or tips on “how to fix” the issue. They just want: reassurance that they are not wrong; confirmation they are not a bad person; and reinforcement that (gosh darn it) people like them. A women craves constant affirmation.
Your only job is to remain calm, listen, and provide them with positive feedback. Here are some comments I use on a regular basis to provide my wife with assurance.
- You deserve better …
- I can not believe they treated you that way …
- What you are asking is not unreasonable …
- You are so brave …
These comments are particularly well suited for conversations that I am not paying attention too. But, they can also be dropped into any conversation.
If a women is yelling, deflecting responsibility, talking in circles, or explaining mind numbing details, then it is a more serious matter. Under these terms, what a women wants is for the man to assume full responsibility for the situation and fix the problem. However, she still wants to retain the right to veto any potential actions. She reserves this right in case the solution makes her look bad. In other words, you have to fix the issue, while pretending you are not actually fixing the issue (and also, maybe give her the credit).
You can make comments, along the lines of:
- Don’t worry WE will figure this out together …
- WE will ask [ third party ], if they have an answer?
- WE will solve this tomorrow …
I hope this article provides readers with a keen insight into how to effectively communicate with a woman. By listening, taking over responsibility, and providing positive affirmation, you will have a long and happy relationship. Cheers!